Well since Janathon has finished I have lost my motivation.
Wednesday was my sister in law's funeral and gosh that was hard. She was buried on a green field site. There was a vicar there who gave some shape to the service as purely humanist burials can be a little lost apparently. The casket was wicker with ivy woven around the edges and looked really nice. Her daughter had written a eulogy to her mum which was really touching and I read a poem. Then I cracked up.
Her estranged husband was supported by her sons and the guy she had lived with for the last year was to one side. As soon as the service was finished Mark (partner) made to leave as he had already been threatened and thumped by Paul (husband) on previous occasions. Paul went after him and the first we heard was a very loud bang as he thumped the car that Mark had come in. Then we heard a load of swearing and threats coming from Paul and he had to be dragged off - very dignified! Mark made his escape.
Some of us went back to my mother in law's house but Paul and the boys went to a pub. Sophie was torn between them but felt it was best to go with her brothers and dad. She was apologetic.
Anyway, I have been feeling very demotivated and have been eating a load of rubbish. Thursday I went to circuits and Friday I went canoeing but I haven't been running at all. I was planning on going Thursday or Friday morning but it was literally blowing a gale and raining like it was never going to stop again so I talked myself out of it. Why do I do that?
The bottom line is that I have put back on the weight that I had lost since New Year and I MUST try harder as my school reports used to always say.
you've had a tough week, don't beat yourself up! Call it a step back week, we all need them, our bodies train best at rest so I'm told! Janathon was a nice adventure and got us through a month that so many moan and complain about. Lots of depression and worry around after the Christmas overindulences.
ReplyDeleteWe can now look forward to the spring - I'm wondering if the gales and winds are early March weather and if we will get an early spring. I hope so.
Time now to start again, but try to make it pleasurable rather than a chore. You enjoy canoodling and walking so why not make that your main activity?
"Trying harder" makes it a chore and a "must do" activity, so maybe a different excersize or a different approach may work?
Something to think about, take care xx